Mood:Thinkin
Song of Choice:"Here is the Light" by Ours
Topic: What are blogs for? This is a entry of me collecting my thoughts and since I hate hand writing yeah if I offend anyone I beg your pardon.

I'm sure you're all tired of hearing this but I was reading Lum's blog again and her words made me think--but don't they always. Something has shaken her and I can only begin to imagine what it could be.

These blogs aren't for spreading information! They're journals! This blog is for me, and if you don't like what I'm writing, don't come back! Start your own damn information ring.
What could she have meant....so many things are possible...she could be critisizing the rest of us...or perhaps...maybe some one pushed the wrong button with her about her blog...

The thing is, on Friday night . . . at about ten thirty or so, I was sketching a picture of Dross while listening to "Letting the Cables Sleep" . . . and the picture shows Dross sort of huddled up against a wall, crying. I guess the combination of the picture and the song made some recent news finally hit me. It makes me feel like the inside of my face has turned to stone. You just can't listen to that song with some bad news on your mind and not cry. You just can't.So it made me cry. It made this problem seem very real. And it is. Optimism gets no one anywhere -- it just made this problem seem like a fantasy to me. I feel ill now. I just look around, and it makes me feel ill. Because other problems just pale in comparison.

Complaining about things like love or schoolwork or family problems are just STUPID compared to this. You people have no idea. And I can say this, because I'm very, very good at not making the mistake of turning nothing into something.



God what could have rocked her so! Sorry guys I for some undefined reason have this big soft spot for Lum.I can't begin to explain why but I worry about her so much(not that I don't worry about you Cat it's just that Lum is kinda open in her angst and your kinda shut up so it's hard to pic up on it but yeah). I know she's like, but Kim hardly knows me--I know but that's not the point. For some reason I have this feeling of...I don't know like I owe her something...like...like I have to take care of her no matter what...but some how I fail at it. I hate not being there for her. I have this feeling her and her sister have been through some rough times...and they don't let other people know about it but of course it bothers them. Geeze maybe I'm just thinking too hard maybe Lum is just having one of those days you know where you wanna bitch but you think the reason your upset is stupid and thus you don't want to do it publicly until the emotions have settled

ahh...for the clarification no I'm not in love with Lum hehe one might think I am the way I'm writing. I mean I admire her greatly though I see her as my superior on many levels and kinda have her up on this pedasol you know but no not gay sorry not bi either lol for all you people getting ready to ask.